Prostitutes named in the Bible

Top Thirteen Prostitutes Of The Bible

Posted on March 31, 2010 by noreligion

In alphabetical order.

1. Gomer was the prostitute Hosea married when god told him to pick a whore for a wife. For some weird reason that shows my warped psyche I am reminded of the song If Ya Wanna Be Happy by Jimmy Soul. [Hosea 1]

2. Israel as said by Jeremiah. [Jeremiah 3:3]

3. Jephthah’s mother [Judges 11:1]

4. Judah is a hooker [Ezekiel 16 and 23]

5. Male prostitutes in the temple. [1 Kings 14:24]

6. Moabite women or the Israelite men? The bible says the men go whoring but the women are or course blamed. [Numbers 25]

7 & 8. My personal favorites and the two who put the ho in the bible. Oholah and her sister Oholibah, the two prostitutes that really made the bible entertaining for 15 year old boys going through puberty. They couldn’t get porn mags so they had this chapter of the bible. [Ezekiel 23]

9. Rahab. Somehow she was honored by being in the lineage of Jesus. Guess god likes prostitutes. Wonder if he gets a discount? [Joshua 2]

10. Tamar, a widow of Er and Onan plays the prostitute to get pregnant by her father-in-law Judah. Again this prostitute is honored by being in the lineage of Jesus and this is not only a prostitute but someone that commits incest [Genesis has 9 other instances of incest]. Guess it was god who said the family that plays together stays together. [Genesis 38]

11 & 12. Two mothers go to Solomon claiming that they are the mother of the newborn baby. Turns out both moms are prostitutes. [1 Kings 3]

13. Didn’t know where to put this since no names were mentioned but the bible made it clear they were women. In a scene that rivaled the first murder dreamed up byQuentin Tarantino in Hostel II and something out of the life of Elizabeth Báthory , when Ahab was killed a bunch of women prostitutes bathed in his blood. [1 Kings 22]